Girly Jokes
...your next comedian is a Lady.
First of all, if you're reading this because you're a girl considering entering the comedy scene, stop googling these articles right now, write some jokes and go to an open mic, girlfriend. Because you're stalling and I get it (I love stalling!) but this is just one of those things ya gotta just do and see what happens. You may suck, it is pretty likely you will suck. But so will 50-99% of the other people that night. And you won't see them crying, 'cause sucking is totally part of the game, batch. (Figurative 'sucking,' we will discuss literal 'sucking' in the next paragraph.)
NO LITERAL SUCKING! Stay away from those nasty, nasty boys, boys are gross. (And girls.)
But for reals, if you're doing this for comedy's sake stay away from those nasty boys (and girls). If you're doing this to get your 'thot' on, you do you, girl. You picked a good spot, you sneaky, sneaky hoebag. Open micing is like a job. A job where you can drink and only really need to focus for about 5 minutes and you don't get paid well, if at all. So basically a job just like any other. Yes, you need to talk and network with your co-workers but don't be the office ho. You can't work on your jokes and get better if you are too busy hoein', I think. I'm sure there are some killer multi-taskin' office hoes out there, and I salute their productivity but there's enough, just stop.
But Victoria, you're engaged to a fellow comedian.. Look buddy, who better to teach you not to office ho than an office ho (I'm like that lady on the commercials with the scratchy voice from smoking telling you not to smoke but in my case it wasn't smoking that messed up the ol' throat, if ya catch mah drift... I don't.) Seriously though, no shenanigans. Just don't. I picked one and if it didn't work out I would have had to move, so I'm glad it worked out. (Love ya, babe ;)
NO LITERAL SUCKING! Stay away from those nasty, nasty boys, boys are gross. (And girls.)
But for reals, if you're doing this for comedy's sake stay away from those nasty boys (and girls). If you're doing this to get your 'thot' on, you do you, girl. You picked a good spot, you sneaky, sneaky hoebag. Open micing is like a job. A job where you can drink and only really need to focus for about 5 minutes and you don't get paid well, if at all. So basically a job just like any other. Yes, you need to talk and network with your co-workers but don't be the office ho. You can't work on your jokes and get better if you are too busy hoein', I think. I'm sure there are some killer multi-taskin' office hoes out there, and I salute their productivity but there's enough, just stop.
But Victoria, you're engaged to a fellow comedian.. Look buddy, who better to teach you not to office ho than an office ho (I'm like that lady on the commercials with the scratchy voice from smoking telling you not to smoke but in my case it wasn't smoking that messed up the ol' throat, if ya catch mah drift... I don't.) Seriously though, no shenanigans. Just don't. I picked one and if it didn't work out I would have had to move, so I'm glad it worked out. (Love ya, babe ;)
Making friends is good though. Mics can get pretty boring. Comics do a surprisingly good job of keeping each other entertained. Sometimes, they are even funnier offstage. I was pleasantly surprised by the open and supportive nature of the community. I mean there are assholes but some in like an adorable way, like a baby's. Frequently, comics will suggest other comics for shows, so meeting and chatting with everybody is never a bad thing.
You might even be put on a show just because you're a girl, a "token." Some may even think it was an undeserved spot. Step one, forget them. Step two, maybe you did get the opportunity earlier than 'you should have,' maybe because you're frikkin' hilarious or maybe it's just those sweet tits. Either way, an opportunity is an opportunity. Would one of those baby assholes turn down a spot just because the show needed to reach their baby asshole quota, I think nahh. Life is all about capitalizing on opportunity, so capitalize on that Ish.
Now go out there and break a leg, sweet tits.
Now go out there and break a leg, sweet tits.
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