Notes from the Booth

Top 10 Things the Sound booth/Sound'bored' Operator Wants You, the Comedian, to Know*

1. It would be great if you held the microphone close to your face and more specifically, your mouth, the place where your word-sounds will be coming from. (But don't shove it inside your mouth either, because yucky yucky poo-poo.)

2. About 98% of the time, we did not design, construct or install the equipment you are using, we turned it on and now, we are monitoring it.

3. Respect your time. There is a whole lot more going on here than your jokes. Orders, last calls, and payments are all scheduled to align with your set. This isn't about stealing from you, it's about running a business. If that closer is soo great and can't be left out, why don't you try telling it.. earlier. 

4. Don't call us "DJ," we don't like it. 

5. Don't say "Sound Lady" either. You sound dumb.

6. What should we call you then? Preferably, don't talk to us. Tell your jokes. 

7. If you have any sound cues, please, let's discuss them before the show. Ideally, before you are being announced to the stage. 

8. If you have no business at the booth, go away. And by go away, I don't mean talk in the back of the showroom and distract the audience from a stage you will soon be on. 

9. Don't ask us to break/bend any rules for you. After the show/weekend, you get to leave... we'd like to be able to return to work another day.

10. We want the show to go well too. Any adjustments made during the show are an effort to improve the event as a whole and not ruin your life. 

Bonus #11 

You can't see the light? You can't see this strobe dance party going on in the back of this dark room? 

Eff you, buddy. 

But seriously, invest in a phone/watch/egg timer. 

*You're gonna do whatever you want to do anyways. And if you're big and famous you totally can. Because that it life. But, if you're not, if you're pursuing this, then listen up, bubba. 

Terms & Conditions:

This Top 10 list is based on 3 years experience in the booth of a comedy club. The author does not claim this list to be fool-proof because, let's face it, these fools be everywhere. The author claims no liability for improper execution of the aforementioned tips. This list can expire at any time. As a matter of fact, it has already expired. Hold harmless, intellectual property and the like. 

tl;dr - Don't be a dick.